Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
Youth is wasted on the young.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'
You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
You cannot be a hero without being a coward.
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
England and America are two countries separated by the same language.
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.
The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.
Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.
Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.
The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
The only secrets are the secrets that keep themselves.
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.
The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
Kings are not born: they are made by artificial hallucination.
The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all.
Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.
It's so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right.
Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.
While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered animals, how can we expect any ideal living conditions on this earth?
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own.
Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent.
An election is a moral horror, as bad as a battle except for the blood; a mud bath for every soul concerned in it.
I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worth while.
No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.
Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.
I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.
Hell is full of musical amateurs.
The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.
One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
Creation is a miracle of daily recurrence. 'A miracle a minute' would not be a bad slogan for God.
In socialism, private property is anathema, and equal distribution of income the first consideration. In capitalism, private property is cardinal, and distribution left to ensue from the play of free contract and selfish interest on that basis, no matter what anomalies it may present.
Property is organized robbery.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics.
An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.
It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.